Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He shit in the fireplace
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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