Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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