Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
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You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
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Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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