I wish I could teleport
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize