Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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