The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My dick has a subreddit
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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