when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize