They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So apparently I’m into choking now
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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