She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize