what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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