Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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