just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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