Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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