my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
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I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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