Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
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he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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