maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
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Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
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You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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