I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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