im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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