So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
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I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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