Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
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How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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