kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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