I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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