college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
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He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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