the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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