Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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