I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize