I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize