White coat. Heels.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize