we have officially lost it.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
they need to just BURY HIM!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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