You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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