I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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