Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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