I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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