It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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