Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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