She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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