I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
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I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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