Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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