He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
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How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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