I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize