u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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