and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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