I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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