I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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