I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize