my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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