hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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