The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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