woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
please don't ironically join a cult
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