I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize