guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize