Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
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The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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